Old Habits Die Hard
by Piggwidgeon
Summary: Tonks has to leave. Andromeda has to convince her to. One-shot.


Disclaimer: I don't own anything here. What a shock.

3

Old Habits Die Hard

Nymphadora never cried. Not when she was a baby. Not when she broke her arm when she was five. Not when she sprained her wrist when she was seven. Not when she left for Hogwarts when she was eleven. Not when she was ruthlessly made fun of when she was fifteen. Not when she struggled against the pressure of her first round of auror training at eighteen. Not when she almost died on her first assignment at twenty one. Not when her first serious boyfriend -- Thomas O'Neal -- dumped her at twenty five. Not when she joined the Order of the Pheonix at twenty six. Not when she ran on no sleep tracking Harry or watched Sirius fall into the veil or when her father was killed. Never. Not once.

Andromeda wasn't sure she was actually hearing Nymphadora cry. She stopped washing her dishes and turned to face the hallway. It was coming from Teddy's room. She turned the water off. A sniffle grated her ears. Crying.

"Remus, please," Dora muttered, her words audible to the woman in the kitchen.

"Stay here. With Teddy," he replied. His words were rushed, anxious. "Protect him. If this goes badly…if Harry doesn't succeed…someone has to protect him."

"Harry will succeed…"

"We don't know. We don't. He could…he could not. We don't know. Dora…please…I have to go. I need to know you're safe. I need to know Teddy is safe. Please."

"Ok. Ok. We'll be safe."

"You promise me?"

"Yes. I'll keep Teddy safe."

Andromeda watched the man lope out of the bedroom. He paused in the hallway, his face drawn, his eyes sallow, his cheeks sullen. He looked back and muttered something under his breath. He turned and looked at Andromeda, looking at her like a deer caught in headlights.

"Go, Remus," she said softly, soft enough so he could hear, soft enough so Dora wouldn't. He nodded, the determination solidifying in his eyes. He turned and went outside. She could hear the crack of apparation.

Nymphadora started sobbing.

Andromeda sighed.

Dora loved that boy. She'd give anything to him. Her love, her time, her attention, her money, her resources, anything he needed and then some. She had, too. She had obsessed and doted over him like any new mother, dwelled over every breath he took, worried over every cry, prided every time he fed from her breast. Given the opportunity, she would die for him.

But she would die for anyone. That's just who she was. She would go do anything for anyone for anything. Helping someone move (even eight months pregnant), excessive amounts of paperwork no one else will do, scrubbing pots in Grimmauld place, tracking Harry Potter. She had done it all. She had given everyone everything. That's just who she was.

Old habits die hard.

After almost eighteen years of putting her life on the line, of ignoring her needs and bearing the torch of the needs of others, of risking her life, Andromeda knew that protecting Teddy was slowly killing her. The racking sobs echoing through the house only solidified the suggestion.

Dora can't hold back. She never did. She never will, Andromeda knew. She was always in one hundred and ten percent. She was always game. She was always willing when able and able when willing. Nothing stopped her. Until now. Remus. That man caused her more heartache than Thomas. He was only looking out for his family, but he was killing his wife in the process.

Andromeda walked slowly down the hallway, the progression of the smiling face of Ted and Nymphadora and some more recent pictures of Remus and Teddy warming her heart. She paused at the door.

Dora hovered over the crib, her arms folded on the top, her body leaning heavily against it. She sobbed, cried, the tears flowing freely down her cheeks, the small boy awake but silent in his crib.

"I'm sorry, Teddy," she sobbed. "I'm sorry for letting him go again. I'm so sorry. He won't…he won't be back this time…I'm so sorry…" Andromeda didn't move. "I'm sorry I'm such a coward, Teddy. I…I'm so sorry you have be raised by a c-coward…I should have st-stopped him!" She sobbed for a few moments. "Your father knows best." She reached into the crib and gently touched the baby's cheek. "Right? Right. Remus always does what's best…fuck." She bowed her head. "I can't go, Teddy. I…I can't. I can't leave you. I need to protect you…right? Damn it. There are others who will protect you. You have to understand. Please understand. Please don't hate me, Teddy. I love you so much. The Order needs me more…than…more than you do…that sounds so terrible, Teddy, I know. I know. Please. Just…just forgive me. Just this once." She sobbed harder. "I-I know you w-won't. P-please, just once. I-I'll never do anything e-else needing fo-forgiviness, Teddy. Please. I promise you. I promise. I keep my promises." She slumped further forward, her hand sneaking into her pocket to touch her wand. "Not everyone can fight now…not everyone can defend…I'm doing it for you…so you don't have to…you have to understand. Please. Please understand. Maybe not now. Someday. Understand. That's all I want." She let out a shuddering breath. "Whatever you do, Ted, don't become an auror. It's not a good life." She stopped sobbing, but the tears dripping off her jaw and onto the baby's mattress. "Shit…I can't go. What am I doing?"

"Nymphadora," Andromeda said softly, coming into the room. "Go." She placed a hand gently on her daughter's back, Dora's muscles tensing in response. Slowly, Dora shook her head.

"No. I can't. Remus will kill me if I leave him…"

"I'm here, Dora. I'll protect him."

Nymphadora looked at her mother, her eyes red and puffy, wide with fear and awe and anxiety and eagerness. Andromeda tightened her grip on her daughter's arm.

"I managed my own against Bellatrix and my parents when I married your father. I can handle anything else."

There was still uncertainty in her eyes.

"Have I ever let you down?"

"I don't want to let him down."

"The only way you'll let him down is by staying here."

Dora bit her lip, her hair her father's light brown and her arms wrapped around his chest. She shook her head.

"I don't have to go," she said.

"You don't believe that. Go."

"No. I can't."

"You don't believe that any more than I do. You have to. You have to fight for Teddy's peace. So he isn't killed like your father."

Nymphadora wrapped her arms tightly around her mother, crying into Andromeda's shirt.

"Don't let him become an auror," she said. "Don't let him. I swear, I'll kill you."

"Go. Hurry. Shacklebolt needs you."

Dora pulled away and wiped her tears away, nodding and running out of the room. She tripped over the coat rack in the hallway and fell over trying to put on her boots. Old habits die hard.

Andromeda closed her eyes and smiled, imprinting the sound of clattering and stream of curses into her memory. A part of her knew she wasn't coming back. A part of her knew this was the end. She sat down in the rocking chair, her hands shaking. All she could do was wait now. Wait and hope and pray and wish that she was wrong.


End file.
